Self-defeating Post
Where can I begin? It's no secret that I hate my job. It's not a very glamorous job. It's not a job someone would be happy or encouraged to say they do. It's not exciting. Most of the time, I'm ashamed to answer when people ask what I do. It's a nothing job. I work in the maintenance department of a movie theater. I fix the seats when they break. During showtime hours, I fix butter dispensers, popcorn poppers and toilets. If nothing's broken, I sit in the maintenance room with retired or soon-to-be reired blue-collar unioners with back-water stories about work and Harley Davidson mentalities. I'm writing this from seat #2 on the top row of theater house #3. Is this the future in store for me? I'm destined for greatness and can't see any greatness in what I do or my philosophies on life. I want so much more. I'd really like to travel once in a while. I want a job that takes me to some far off place to do business for a few days a couple times a year. That dream is fading. I'm facing the mid-life blues. I've accomplised so little in my life and I fear time is running out. Hell, my degree isn't even approved as a degree yet. The career I pursue would allow me to do my job at home where "traveling" would be from my desk to the fridge. What am I doing?! I ... I'm just feeling a little disappointed with myself right now. I feel I've lost my creativity and I'm strugling with my little blog here. How do people make money with these things? If I were paid to write, I'd write like crazy. If I were paid on my merit, skills and abilitits rather than how long I'm here, I might feel like I have worth. But the economy right now ... keeps me from even trying to find a new job. There are hundreds of thousands of people right now who would love to be in my shoes. Why can't I just appreciate it?
NSE
 Okay, So, I've pretty much had it with math. It's cool and all; defines the physical realm, gives it depth and provides reason to it's seemingly chaotic direction. But, I'm done. Somewhere around finding the direction, velocity, acceleration, speed, spin and curvature of a cylinder, within a ball, within a cone is when it happened. That's when I thought to myself, "wait ... what?" So, I plateaued at absorbing the concepts. It's 3rd, 4th, 5th, ... nth dimensional mathematics. Try to wrap your head around that for just a moment, fourth dimensional mathematics. You can't even conceive of a 4th dimensional object, let alone plot it's surface. The picture to the right, is a two dimensional rendition of Boy's Surface. It only looks three dimensional because of lines and color. A ball or truck has three dimensions. How can you conceive a fourth? Go ahead, think of a surface that has height, width, depth ... then what?? Hm? How about a fifth dimension, or sixth?? The professor couldn't even give the class an example where this type of math is used in the real world.  I was warned, though. Whenever I mentioned that I wanted to become an Engineer, practically everyone said, "you'll need to like math ... a lot of math." Somehow, I was ignorant to it. Well, after picking up all the pieces of my skull and peeling my consciousness off the back wall, I decided it was time to change degrees. You're now reading about the next Network Systems Engineer. What's a Network Systems Engineer you ask? I'll let you know as soon as I find out. I think I'm picking my degrees based on how cool or important they sound. Labels: career, computers, degree, engineer, math, school
Still Employed, School is Long, Summer Come Soon
I'm still employed. Everyday, fellow employees joke about how long I have until I'm fired/laid off. I swear, theres a fucking office pool going around. Currently, I'm in the middle of a project that no other employee in my department is capable of handling. The remaining hardware can't be ordered until May, so the installation can't happen until then. Which means, I won't be let go until it's complete. A wise worker once said, "make yourself indispensible." So, I'm employeed until at least the end of May. After that, who knows. The end of Spring semester is approaching. Right now, I have too much homework I should be working on, instead, I opt to write here. My communication class is going great! I'm at a steady 102%. No kidding. Top of my class. We just have one more group project then the final test(s). Two more weeks, then that class is finished. I really liked it. I really liked Psychology, too. Scored an "A" there. My Calculus class is kicking my ass. I estimate a low "C" right now. The math is getting so complicated, I'm 80% sure I'm going to change majors. I mentioned this to my professor and, of course, she had intent to change my mind. The words of encouragement failed to take hold, especially considering that I'm 7 chapters behind and I'm more inspired to write on my site than pull out my book. I can't wait for summer. I don't intend to take any summer classes. Spring semester is always bad for me because I'm hyper and can't stay focues on school that long. My A.D.D. is kicking in again and need to change out of my work clothes for school. Oh yeah, and I think I want a motorcycle. Labels: A.D.D., employment, music, rant, school, work
The Best Policy?
Management thinks my department is "top heavy." they think they're spending too much money on us. There are 4 of us. There needs to be at least 1 person here at any time between 6 am and 8 pm. They want to get rid of someone and guess who's on the bottom rung? I just tried to transfer to the IT department that is directly in line with my school. I was told I didn't have enough experience and they'll "keep my resume on file.". Who the he'll actually does is? I've been in a hiring/firing position before and I've never gone back to old applications. Why do interviewers feel they need to make me feel good about being rejected. What benefit is it to either party to give false hope? Perhaps it's to save face and not seem like the bad guy. But they're never going to see me again so what does it matter? I try to me honest and upfront about how I feel and what I think. I question people's motives whenever I sense them trying to spare me or protect me. What's wrong with being honest? -- From My iPhone. Yep, it does this, too.
Leukemia and Lymphoma
So, why did they send it to me?  -- From My iPhone
Identity theft
Found this little display at a local Walmart. It's a paper shredder. Ha!
Horray for spare time.
Sorry for such a long hiatus. It's been over a month. Why? School and damn work, that's why. If you've been keeping up, I going to school to be an Electrical Engineer a Computer Science Engineer. (I recently decided to change majors.) So, between calculating the curvature of a surface in 3-space and creating power points for conflict management, I play games in my spare time. It's my "me time". Plus, when I would post weekly, it was at work when I had nothing better to do with my time. As per the last couple updates, my position at work came into question as to whether or not it was actually needed. It wasn't, but because I'm so valuable, they didn't want to fire me and so, opted to transfer me to a different area. That area has no eff'n wi-fi and it's driving me crazy. I have an iPhone 3G so maybe I'll see if I can update from there. However, the office is like a war bunker and if I stand just so and position my hand just right, I can get a couple bars on the "E" network. Good times. Note:* I found out I actually have an audience outside my usual group of close friends who care enough to check the blog out. Comments are nice. Thanks for reading Anonymous', now, I do it for you, and the $50-every-10-years-for-ad-space-from-Google. Note to self: get more anonymous'es. Labels: school, video games, work
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