The Crest

It looks as though the worst has past. They always say it's darker before the dawn.

My mother is doing better. She can raise her arms above her head. She's still not 100%, but she's getting there.

My brother is finally out of his old place, away from his exgirlfriend. I never really understood what he saw in her. But, he's a bit happier. He's now living with my mother until he can get back on his feet. In the past, my brother and I lived as bachelors for a few years. Our mom would check in ever so often. This bugged him a bit because he felt it incringed on his independence. He would bitch about her every time. Sometimes saying he hated her. We knew he didn't mean it, but he'd say it. Because of this, I think him moving with her is a disaster waiting to happen, but they're getting along for now. He called me the other night and said, "I shouldn't be here." I didn't know exactly what to say. His pride is hurt.

He's always been the big brother. The one to look up to, the one that is supposed to lead by example. I'm sure it hurts him a bit to be exposed and shown that he, too, can stumble or even fall. I'll bet it's a truth he wished he didn't have to learn.

I'm trying to help, anyway I can. I want to take him out to places, to be around people that aren't his mom, fun people (no offense mom.) Three weeks ago, we went to a bar and had a great time. I bought everything and I didn't mind one bit. I wish he didn't insist on paying me back, though, it was my treat. Plus, I know he can't/won't so I wish he'd stop offering. I had a lot of fun with him. It was worth every penny and I want to do it again. Mostly, he says, "I have no money." I can understand that, of course, but it's a downer when he won't come because refuses to let me pay. I just want him out of that house for a bit, clear his head, straighten his thoughts so he can focus on his goals better. But, I also don't want to damage his pride further. I'm sure it frustrates him. I love my family and I justwant to help them out, however I can. We all try to do what we're able. If he won't let me pay his bills, then let me ease his mind for a night.

My sister is still estranged and my brother is still in Nevada. I don't expect them to change anytime soon. Which can be a comfort sometimes, because you can count on them being where they are. No emergencies means a good day.

I didn't call my Father on Father's Day. I feel guilty for it. I have his cell, but he dosn't answer. My sister says his work took it away. I guess it was a company phone. I have his home number, but I'm uncomfortable with calling it. One of the advantages of cell phones is: the only person that usually answers, is the person your trying to reach.

It Falls in Clumps

It just doesn't seem to stop, now, does it?  My wife found a bump in her breast last week.  She had it checked by a doctor, who was concerned and ordered an ultrasound, which caused more concern so they ordered a biopsy.  It was benign (which is good), but caused enough concern to have the doctor say, lets take it out.  So an operation is now scheduled a few weeks from now.

Yesterday, my wife's step-father passed away.  He was a serious alcoholic.  Realizing he needed serious help, he turned to his ex-wife (my mother-in-law).  She doesn't keep any alcohol in the house and they thought it'd be a good idea for him to find stability there.  The rule was, he could stay there as long as he didn't drink.  He did great for a couple weeks.  Three days ago, he started sneaking it and she found out.  He broke the rule and had to go.  She said she didn't want to watch him die.  That night, he did.  His alarm was going off in the morning, she went in to turn it off and found him on the floor.

911 was called and he was rushed to the hospital where they were able to revive his heart, but it was too late.  His step-son performed a final blessing and they unplugged the machines.

This spring will remain in my memory in infamy.  What a horrible season.  It's been stabbed, it's dying and I hope it doesn't bleed into the next.